Kendrick

And we wonder why Why is it so easy To pretend we’ve moved on We all have PTSD in our own way Gives us the illusion that we’re unique Collectively we’re weak I push the thoughts out that deplete my illusion of happy I’ll deal with them next week I promise To be a better…

Who are you?

We create ourselves. There was a quote I read yesterday from the book I’m reading that said something along the lines of, “life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.” And, let me tell you… That shit blew my mind. So, I’ve done some thinking within the last 12 hours, and I’ve decided who…

On impact

The moment you start to feel unstoppable. Everything seems to be going right. Pay attention. It doesn’t feel that way for everyone around you. And blindly believing in someone in a constant battle with their own emotions and fears will ruin you. A few days ago you were enamored with joy and power from the…

The taking tree would’ve been a much different story.

Brick walls & chandeliers. The couple across from me, happy. Sharing art, sharing feeling. Sitting on corduroy couches, sipping decorated lattes. The caffeine, healing. Cacti in coffee pots, abstract centerpieces reflecting life. An illusion. Community gathers, and I’ll remain in my corner sulking in self hate and self obsession one in the same. I claim…

Sell out

And I’ll delete everything That way there’s no way for you to check up on me. I won’t bury myself in social media made for the needy saplings of a broken attention steamed society. You’re just insecure, said the face of insecurity.  It won’t be the downfall of me. Make our bed, and it’ll bring…

Misunderstood on purpose 

When night fall everywhere is just as dark, You’ll feel the same eeriness wherever it is you are. You’ll watch your shadow like a hawk as if it can jump out and grab you. The goal, consumption. Neon is my only friend, loneliness my gift. 

U and I together 

Suicide is the morning cries tangled in confusion from one more bad night. Suicide is that emptiness in your chest, and pain in your stomach when you realize all you do is hurt the ones you’re in love with. Suicide is the pressure from a lonely room crippling you from getting out of bed. Suicide…

Black and white cookies

Thanks to you I learned the art of drinking by myself at hole in the wall bars where the bartenders don’t  care who’s ID they’re  scrutinizing when they card.  Black-and-white cookies in the cart remind me of you falling before I re-start to realize the truth you might never be with me, before I overthink,…

Killing Time

I’m on a steady decline. Getting tired of drinking and hanging out in all the same rooms. With people who all wear the same perfume, or none at all. I’d rather be in a smaller city than San Francisco with lights just as bright, and buildings almost as big. Watching One Tree Hill for the…

Ten year olds

Do you remember what you wanted to be “when you grew up”? There’s a scene in one of my favorite movies, that this question feels really relevant to. If you’ve seen the movie I’m talking about, Mr. Deeds, you may know which scene I’m referring to,  and if you haven’t here’s a link below. Even…

libations

I just erased two hundred and fifty six words. I’ve been writing about the same thing, or maybe I should say the same someone for months. Almost a year in fact. I’ve been thinking, and having dreams, and nightmares about the same person as well. The talent in my eyes, and the voice in my…

Self

Who knew I had trust issues? Afraid of my own reflection, and questioning everyone’s intentions. Seeking out a solitude, friendship, in people that matter. People that care. People without the disgression to hide what they truly yearn to share. I’m growing up, and that’s the most difficult to admit because the moment I stop claiming…