Density means nothing 

Lost, and alone, I’ll just stare at my phone until my mixed up brain can make some sense of all of this. As emotional as I am, deep down I understand. I guess the truth just always comes out. I’m overly dramatic at times; I need a fantasy to get through life. Day by day feeling thrown away, and upset because you never regret a loss until they’re really gone. And as much as I want to just disappear, and start over with people I know less. I can’t. I don’t want you to miss me. I don’t want to play mind games. I just want to be. I want for friendship to come naturally. I can’t force myself to be okay. It drives me crazy that all it took you was one night and half a day, and it seems you’ve forgot all of the feelings and positive talks right away. I miss you already, and I know you’re not gone. But you feel like a stranger, and seeing you feels wrong. 

I wish that blue umbrella would turn yellow, but it won’t. It’s no blue french horn, but that little plastic lizard will never leave my heart. 

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