Start Over

Moving is scary, moving on is worse. What happens when the Earth turns, like a table top, and you’re falling face first? We hang to the edge; our cliff’s only ledge, or we leap to our threateningly inevitable death, and we can only hope for the best. Smack against the waters embrace. Hold your breath…

Indigo

Hunger satiated by bites that aren’t taken. You’d think sleep would help, but you’d be mistaken. I keep crying for no reason. A fresh start awaits; no time to pick up the pieces. I’m pressured to run away. It’s the only feasible choice left to make. An antiquated optimist, I’m having trouble believing. In anything….

On impact

The moment you start to feel unstoppable. Everything seems to be going right. Pay attention. It doesn’t feel that way for everyone around you. And blindly believing in someone in a constant battle with their own emotions and fears will ruin you. A few days ago you were enamored with joy and power from the…

But I’m not finished yet

Using look up to recall the meaning of words written by myself. Excuse me while I unexplain my actions. Hang my compassion from an unsturdy shelf. Ignoring the ignorance of others listening to Turnover under the covers, one more overcast day holding back tears I prematurely promised myself at some point would have to go…

The taking tree would’ve been a much different story.

Brick walls & chandeliers. The couple across from me, happy. Sharing art, sharing feeling. Sitting on corduroy couches, sipping decorated lattes. The caffeine, healing. Cacti in coffee pots, abstract centerpieces reflecting life. An illusion. Community gathers, and I’ll remain in my corner sulking in self hate and self obsession one in the same. I claim…

Places and things 

It turns out I do have the addictive gene. Nothing strong enough to consume me like people I know inevitably will leave. 

Sell out

And I’ll delete everything That way there’s no way for you to check up on me. I won’t bury myself in social media made for the needy saplings of a broken attention steamed society. You’re just insecure, said the face of insecurity.  It won’t be the downfall of me. Make our bed, and it’ll bring…

Manchester

Flipping cards like some sort of magician. I wish I knew you when you actually believed in it. Magic. 

Misunderstood on purpose 

When night fall everywhere is just as dark, You’ll feel the same eeriness wherever it is you are. You’ll watch your shadow like a hawk as if it can jump out and grab you. The goal, consumption. Neon is my only friend, loneliness my gift. 

U and I together 

Suicide is the morning cries tangled in confusion from one more bad night. Suicide is that emptiness in your chest, and pain in your stomach when you realize all you do is hurt the ones you’re in love with. Suicide is the pressure from a lonely room crippling you from getting out of bed. Suicide…

Black and white cookies

Thanks to you I learned the art of drinking by myself at hole in the wall bars where the bartenders don’t  care who’s ID they’re  scrutinizing when they card.  Black-and-white cookies in the cart remind me of you falling before I re-start to realize the truth you might never be with me, before I overthink,…

Glass

Those glasses impair my perfect vision. You’re dying I know, My empathy I refuse to extend. Because trying to live is all I have left when from every perspective I already feel dead.  Knowing is dangerous, so I’ll pretend I don’t.  I am a corpse, and you continue to prod and poke. This isn’t a…